Austintacious

Before I start, I want you to know that this story ends with me in an abandoned roadside BBQ shack in Texas, with no idea why I’m there.  Okay, here we go.

So when I headed to Austin on business a week or so ago, my roommate Bill told me that a BBQ joint in the airport would be worth the trip alone.  ”It’s good,” he told me, “I mean it’s good.  You wouldn’t expect it from an airport but…damn. Can’t remember the name but there’s only one joint there. You can’t miss it.”  Now, even though the prospect of edible airport food seemed too incredible to pass up – like riding a unicorn outfitted with rocket launchers or taking a trip through time to punch a famous dead guy in the face (let’s say…Henry VIII) – I realized that I probably wouldn’t be in the mood for beef drowned in BBQ sauce when I shuffled off the plane at 6AM the next morning.  Filing his restaurant review under “cool, maybe next time”, I flew to the state where everything’s bigger and promptly forgot about the whole thing.

Until, that is, I was flipped through a magazine in my hotel room and came across an ad for The Salt Lick. It’s a restaurant that has three locations, one of which just so happens to be inside the Austin airport, and wants to make damn sure you know there isn’t a finer piece of meat to be found in the great state of Texas.  Even though the nearest location was about an hour away, I had a free afternoon and decided that Bill’s recommendation would be worth a try.  So I drove.  And I drove.  And I drove and drove and drove through the craziest traffic I’ve ever seen aside from the time that garbage truck burst into flames on the 405.  Which is a true and awesome story.

Anyway, I finally get there and the place is abandoned.  I mean it’s me, the hostess and a bunch of meat – that’s it.  Since I was starving by this point and not really in the mood for conversation anyway, I sat down at the bar, placed my order and sent Bill an IM with the image you see above.  He responded almost immediately, letting me know three things:

1. He’s never been to this restaurant in his entire life
2. He’s never been to Austin or its airport
3. We never had this conversation that I so vividly recall

So there I was, sitting in an abandoned BBQ shack in the middle of Nowhere, Texas, with absolutely no idea why the universe had placed me there.  It was the perfect setup for a Twilight Zone episode, which is why I’m sad to report that the hostess wasn’t a genie and the meat wasn’t made out of people. Presumably.  And even though I’d like to think there’s some lesson to take away from this experience, the only thing I learned is to ignore anything and everything that Bill ever says.  And that Austin – like its residents often say – can be a little weird.