Into The Lion’s Den

Assembling Voltron-style with fellow crew member/roommate team JoAnne and Shannon (JoAnnon) – who are, as you may recall, survivors of Team Bone Church ’08 – Bill and I decided it was high time to execute our long-gestating plan to invade Germany. Figuring that we’ve seen just about every WWII movie ever made and that turnabout is fair play, we boarded the legendary 178 from Prague to Berlin – a pedestrian train so magical that it’s rumored to be the basis for the Hogwart’s Express – and rolled toward our destiny.

Sorting out the nuanced but potentially devastating difference between having a train fare and having an actual ticket, we spent the five hour ride figuring out what, exactly, is in Berlin. If this sounds like poor planning, that’s because it is. But given that the trip was last minute and your average man on the street wouldn’t know what sights there are either, I appeal for slack.

The first sight – and a welcome one at that – was the Hotel Berlin, Berlin. Redundant, I know, but it appealed to my sensibilities as a denizen of the City of Culver City. While the room was nothing to write home about (the irony that I’m doing just that isn’t lost on me), the ad at right – for either strawberry jam or the Church of Satan – certainly was. I’m honestly not sure if JoAnne’s eyes or the billboard’s are creepier.

What followed was the sort of wandering you get only by visiting a foreign city where everyone speaks a different language, armed with nothing but a map boasting a smiling cartoon bear as its most noticeable feature. To the map’s credit, it managed to safely guide us to a Nazi-free zone. This father and son rifleman team even had the courtesy to advertise, which I appreciated.

Our winding path through the downtown core had us ending up at the city’s vast Holocaust memorial, at right. I feel slightly bad for getting an adorable picture out of such a heavy place but since the grounds felt more like a prison for history than an actual memorial, I stand by my photography. And if you’re overly sensitive, go ahead and chalk the framing up to a World War 2 “Kilroy Was Here” reference.

We went past the Victory Tower, the Wall, the Reichstag and on to the Brandenburg Gate, where we had dinner at sunset. It was crazy to think about the amount of history that’s passed through the Gate, which now casts its shadow on a Starbucks. Then again, I’m sure that a frappucino would have made Napoleon’s victory all the sweeter when he stole the statue on top in 1806.

And then, just a few hours later, it was a new day and time to take the train back to Prague. While the trip was fantastic, I have to say that it was a little striking to be in a city so defined by cold, featureless architecture. I’m all for clean design but it definitely was nice to see the colorful skyline of Praha on the horizon during the return trip. Next weekend’s trip is the city of love…au revoir until then.