Hope (For Jetpacks)

If the Vancouver airport’s CNN feed is to be believed (and I do stress if) then today is inauguration day in the United States of America. And I want to say that I’m proud of you, adopted homeland. Not only because you chose the guy who was right for the job – the one with a vision, a message and a clear appreciation for graphic design – but also because you chose someone who...

Field Of Clover

After months of Zaprudering frames of the CLOVERFIELD trailer in an attempt to divine the true nature of the film’s monster, I – at very long last – have my answer. To my surprise, the cinematic giant for which the film will be remembered isn’t a skyscraper-sized beast of indecipherable origins (although those hoping to see just that will not leave the theater disappointed) but...

Christmas Roast

Last Saturday, when Andy asked me if I had any interest in watching 160 Christmas trees burst into flames, I answered as every man does when he encounters this situation: “Yes. Yes I do.” As part of a decades-old tradition, the locals of Mar Vista – a name that roughly translates to “Beach of the Low-Flying Aircraft” – scour the streets of LA for abandoned Christmas trees,...

Boxed In

Last night was the awards ceremony for the box[ur]shorts film festival, and THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS came home with the competition’s coveted Bronze Boxer Shorts! Although the novelty of the prize was lost on me – I have a strict policy that all of my undergarments be fashioned from semi-precious metals – it was great to take home a pair of underwear featuring racing stripes made out...

Bitter Sting Of Irony

As I was heading in to work this morning, I noticed that the Culver City Meat Company – once home to the unforgettable marketing slogan “You can’t beat our meat” – has closed and been remodeled into…drum roll, please…Skin – A Gentleman’s Establishment. Come on, universe – turning a meat market into a strip club? You can do better than that. Give me a...