How To Survive A Shotgun Blast To The Face

Last week I went on a tour of Oakley’s headquarters, which was – for me – the equivalent of visiting Mecca (the holy one, not the clothing line that’s an Oakley competitors). The streamlined, military aesthetic of their brand is something I’ve always been a big fan of, and it’s remarkable how well their building – a snapshot of which can be seen above – managed to take that design principle and run with it over an acres-large facility. Fortified with solid steel walls, bolts the size of dinner plates and more security doors than the pentagon, the only thing more impressive than the structure itself was what awaited inside.

Swiped through a blast door adorned with a graffitti-style painting of a giant robot blowing up tanks on a battlefield, we were ushered into the “Mad Science Lab.” At first glance, that name seemed pretty accurate – a guy at one station was firing bullets into a pair of sunglasses, while the guy next to him was testing the shatter resistance of their lenses with a railroad spike. Somewhere in the back of my mind, it occurred to me that this is what an imaginative six year-old might come up with if he were asked how sunglasses are made. And while I have no problem admitting that it was pretty awesome to see a little wanton violence visited upon my favorite designer specs, it was even cooler to find out that there was a reason for it.

Aside from wanting to prove the armored nature of their glasses to the military, the designers want to make sure that the glasses won’t shatter if they’re hit by an airbag, a rock kicked up from the road or…well…a shotgun blast. So the next time you’re in the market for some eyewear, go ahead and spring for the Oakleys – not only is their headquarters the coolest structure since the Batcave, they’re also keeping your options open for an open-casket funeral.