Glassware: 3, Ryan: 1

That’s right – a la the STAR WARS prequels, it turns out there are epic, untold chapters in the timeless saga of me versus my apartment. So sit back, relax and picture the following text as a rogue paragraph scrolling through space to a John Williams score… Episode vII THE PLATE GLASS MENACE It is a period of civil war. Ryan, having moved into his Montreal apartment with hopes for...

I Regret Nothing

My fellow SIMPSONS fanatics might remember today’s headline as the line of dialogue screamed by an “Itchy and Scratchy” fan who literally dies while waiting in line for the psychotic cat and mouse’s animated movie. Well, screaming drawbridge guy, I couldn’t agree with you more. Speaking as someone who’s seen all 400 episodes of THE SIMPSONS – which, for those of you who are...

On The Subject Of Giant Monsters

Continuing on the theme of my post from…seriously? I haven’t posted in two weeks? Why didn’t anyone come to check on me? What if I’d slipped in the shower or something? Or what if the stove in my apartment tried to finish what it started? I’m not kidding – I put a roast in there the other day and when I opened the door, it was gone. Whatever’s possessed that appliance...

Well That’s About The Coolest Thing Ever

It’s always exciting when a movie comes out of nowhere, especially one that looks as compelling as J.J. Abrams’ latest producing effort, codenamed CLOVERFIELD and 1-18-08. Although the film’s artfully enigmatic trailer gives away about as much as its official title (there isn’t one), this much is certain: on January 18 of next year, a giant monster will be attacking New York City. And...

Culmination

After nearly six solid months of breathing exercises to calm my excitement over the iPhone, today was the day I actually got to hold one in my hands. And while I can’t say it was mine – my boss let me hold it after I promised I wouldn’t abscond with it to a non-extradition treaty country, where we would lead simple but happy lives on the beach as a man, his phone and so much more...