In Memoriam: Captain Power

As Bryan and I sat idling in the Inglewood Forum’s parking lot, waiting for concert traffic to dissipate, our conversation eventually turned to the 1980’s kids show CAPTAIN POWER. Seems random, I know, but believe me – a lot of ground gets covered during 172 hours of stand-still traffic. The show, for the benefit of those who lacked a robotic armor fetish during their adolescent years, is set in a post-apocalyptic world where mankind has lost the “Metal Wars” to its new robot overlords. Following the adventures of Captain Jonathan Power and his becostumed “Soldiers of the Future” as they valiantly struggled to wrest control of our destiny from the (literally) iron fisted Lord Dread, it was basically THE MATRIX meets THE TERMINATOR, by way of MIGHTY MORPHIN’ POWER RANGERS.

?While flying ships, robotic armor and inspired nicknames (“Hawk” was their pilot, “Tank” was their weapons guy and “Scout” was, surprisingly, their scout) presented a pretty big draw, the real hook of the show was that it required a gun to take full advantage of the viewing experience. Only when wielding an official Captain Power “Power Laser” could kids make like Elvis and fire at their TV set, racking up points for every bad guy they hit on the screen. It is, in hindsight, a pretty stunning example of how things were before the ‘Violence in the Media’ debate got into full swing.

The arguably more important debate, however, was the one in which Bryan and I were locked that fateful night. Sitting in my car, awaiting death on the slowest of possible wings as concert traffic decelerated to “ferociously still”, we had a back and forth about how the Power Laser actually worked. While the commercials showed a kid firing at his TV, bringing down one of Lord Dread’s diabolical flying machines with a fist pump and an enthusiastic “YEAH!” to the camera, there was no way that was possible. Even as a kid, I realized that – barring some sort of LAST STARFIGHTER-type scenario – nothing I did in my living room was going to help the future. Except the time I fought those evil robots. And totally won.

Taking all that into consideration, I realized there were precisely two possibilities: either the gun was powered by dark magic, or it didn’t work at all. Well thanks to Wikipedia – which is, incidentally, definitely powered by dark magic – I now have my answer. It did work.

Kinda.

Needless to say, the gun didn’t affect the outcome of the show. And it’s a good thing, too, because it’s a safe assumption that the ol’ Soldiers of the Future would have encountered a lot of friendly fire from the sugar-fueled home audience. What the gun could do, however, is a (somewhat) accurate job of registering reflections off the fluorescent chestplates of Lord Dread’s mechanical minions whenever the trigger was pulled. And even though – two decades later – we’re still a ways away from interactive television on par with what’s promised in the commercial for the Power Laser, I take solace in the fact that I can Rip Van Winkle to the distant future the next time I’m stuck in my car at the Inglewood Forum.