Sun – 2, Ryan – 0

Call Transcript – 1:32PM

Time-Warner Cable Service Rep (T-WCSR): Thank you for holding sir. What seems to be the problem?

Me: I’m missing some channels. A recording told me it was because of the Sun.

T-WCSR: The Sun?

Me: Yeah. Something to do with flares. Is it fixed yet?

T-WCSR: What – the Sun?

Me: No, my cable.

T-WCSR: I don’t know anything about the Sun.

Me: Great. Me neither. But I’m asking about my cable.

T-WCSR: Who told you the problem was the Sun?

Me: A recording, the last time I called.

T-WCSR: I don’t know anything about any recording. Hold on, please. (Two minutes pass) My supervisor doesn’t know about the Sun or a recording either.

Me: Can he tell me why my channels are out?

T-WCSR: It’s a she.

Me: Can. She. Tell. Me. Why. My channels. Are out.

T-WCSR: The computer says your channels aren’t out.

Me: Tell the computer they’ve been out for two weeks.

T-WCSR: (sighs) Alright sir, go to your cable box and change it to channel –

Me: I can’t. I’m at my job. I work.

T-WCSR: You’re going to have to call back when you’re in front of the box, sir. We’re here to help, 24 hours a day.

Me: (Mute rage)

T-WCSR: (click)