Come Again Another Day

For the past few weeks, the main topic of discussion down at Land Elsewhere world headquarters (my apartment) has been whether my plans for a water-heavy short film will end with cinematic glory or devastating property damage. In spite of my rationalization that the worst case scenario would probably end with both, über-producer Christina Ferguson somehow managed to talk me into shelving the idea until we have stage space, a wealthy benefactor and roughly twelve thousand towels. While I’m a little disappointed that this story isn’t going in front of cameras quite yet, I’m consoled by the fact that we’re going ahead with a different concept. And that I now know more about sprinklers, portable water tanks and garden hoses than any man alive.

In any event, having nothing but water on the brain for the past few weeks reminded me of a blog-worthy something I wrote a while back. Although it has nothing to do with my shelved concept aside from a particularly soggy character, I think it’s a fun little story on its own. So read it and fall in love, preferably with a towel company executive who has some hefty disposable income and an affinity for the arts.

Jack, King of Water, Meets Jill the Almighty Fire Princess

by Ryan Landels

Jack was a boy who was made all of water

And spent no time doing what all young boys ought’er.

While others spent time fishing down at the drink,

Jack was conversing with the drip from the sink.

Jill was a Princess made only of fire;

All who stood near her began to perspire.

Not only because to the touch she was hot,

But also she made boys think things they should not.

All of the girls thought that poor Jack was a drip,

But Jill thought his watery ways were a trip.

Despite all objections, sparks started to fly

‘Til one day Jack said, “Jill, let’s give it a try!”

Mad was the thought – A boy made all of water

Courting the almighty Fire King’s daughter?

But court her he did to the town’s first ice show,

And all had gone fine ‘til it started to snow.

Up in smoke went the hopes of romance that night –

Jack became frigid and Jill needed a light.

If not for the fact that opposites attract,

Their star-crossed romance might have ended at that.

And over much time a romance did alight;

Every day was theirs alone, so was every night.

With the depth of the ocean Jack loved his flame

And Jill liked nothing more than being his dame.

Jack could have sworn he’d a fire in his heart

Whenever he saw his girl bring light to dark.

Jill felt the same and around him she’d quiver

Like she were up to her knees in a river.

But despite all of this – and ‘tween them was much –

The heavens denied them the lux’ry of touch.

Fire and water were meant never to meet,

Especially not when in-between the sheets.

‘Twas on Christmas morn Jack decided a gift

Was all that could bridge this sensory rift.

‘Neath the mistletoe he did give Jill a kiss –

The kind a girl might find it hard to dismiss.

His waters were boiled by licks of her flame;

Their union was one more of pleasure than pain.

And after 2 minutes, 8 seconds of this,

Her flame and his waters ‘came together a mist.

In Summer they rain down on the Seven Seas,

In Spring they both fancy a ride on the breeze.

But Winter’s their favorite season of all,

For nothing’s more fun than being a snowfall.

So the next time a snowflake kisses your lips,

Know it’s just Jack and Jill on one of their trips,

Spreading their love to all those who care, and to

All of the lovers who are willing to dare.