Summer Soulstice

Days are getting longer, skirts are inching shorter and temperatures are climbing higher, rendering my sweet snowmobile virtually useless. What could all this mean, aside from Al Gore’s successful prediction of our hot, sweaty deaths?*

That’s right – today’s the first day of summer! For kids, that is. For the rest of us, it’s the beginning of three months of work in slightly higher temperatures.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining about my job, even though I do question its “you don’t get the whole summer off” policy. It’s just that while I knew that getting a real job would be a big step toward the future, it turned out to be an even bigger step away from the popsicle eatin’, sprinkler leapin’, slippin’ and slidin’ summer days of my youth. Granted, this might be for the best – the sight of a popsicle-wielding twenty-something diving through a sprinkler and rocketing head-first down a crudely constructed runway of Glad bags would probably result in more than a few calls to Culver City’s finest. Or at the very least, YouTube footage that would haunt me to the end of time.

But for some reason, I still can’t help but yearn for a time when summer meant two months of rest, relaxation and crippling boredom – especially when look out my office window and see kids frolicking in the gently lapping waves of the Santa Monica shore. (Okay, technically there’s a tree blocking my view of the beach. And a building. And it probably wouldn’t be a frolicking kids so much as a crazy homeless guy named “Stabby” doing an interpretive dance of his messed up childhood, but you get the idea.)

It’s for this reason that I’m instituting my “Take Back the Summer” program. That’s right, America (and you too, Canada – don’t think I’m not keeping my eye on you) – this is going to be a summer of kickin’ it old school. I’m proposing beach parties, BBQ’ing in the backyard and the construction of a slip ‘n slide network that will put the Roman aqueducts to shame, all to the sweet sounds of…

SUMMER SOULSTICE

IN THE SUMMERTIME / Mungo Jerry – You could tell me this is an obvious choice. And I could tell you that you’re wearing an ugly shirt. But I didn’t.

WOUND UP / Office – “Let’s go to the beach tonight with a bottle of wine” elegantly sums up both the chorus and every summer night I had in high school.

TRANSFORMER / Gnarls Barkley – A song with more character, plot and energy than script for the upcoming film. Seriously. Yikes.

BEAUTIFUL DAY / Mellowdrone – Even though the singer’s a little angsty about the prospect of a nice summer day, you have to appreciate the sentiment.

TOKYO DRIFT / Teriyaki Boyz – A song about cars you could never afford, with vocals by Japanese girls you could ever get, that somehow manages to be as entertaining as the very cool movie of the same name.

INTIMATE SECRETARY / The Raconteurs – In the end, isn’t that what we all want?

GOLD LION / Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Reminds me of the first time I asked a lion for directions. I wanted to get to the Getty and ended up on ROAAAARRRRRRAARR Street which, I don’t need to tell you, is on the complete opposite end of town. Stupid lion.

BEYOND THE SEA / Bobby Darin – For slow dancing on the beach, shoes off.

ONCE AROUND THE BLOCK / Badly Drawn Boy – Hearkens back to when you were a little kid and the block you lived on was your entire world. Also to that time you were under house arrest, I guess.

THE GIRL IS ATTRACTIVE / Diamond Nights – What summer’s all about.

SUNSHOWERS / M.I.A. – One of the best artists out there – a voice of pure sunshine.

ISLAND IN THE SUN / Weezer – See comment for track one.

CHUCK NORRIS / Supafloss – Must be heard to be believed, especially if you own a Ford Taurus.

PETER GUNN / Henry Mancini – Hands-down the greatest cruising song of all time.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print…for now. As promised, some fun updates on the website – and things beyond – are coming in the next week. Check back for all the summer fun that’s in the works!

*For more sexy-sounding global warming commentary, pick up a copy of my soft-core environmental novel, The Lumberjack’s Got Wood, hitting shelves this summer.