I, Roommate

Well, it’s finally happening – my roommate-less status is being revoked.

Tomorrow marks Andy Waruszewski’s triumphant return from his fourth-month stint on a Mexican horror flick, which means the clock is now ticking on my final 24 hours as “the guy without a roommate.” And okay, I’ll admit it. I’m not all that thrilled.

Now before all of you out there in the blogosphere go jumping to conclusions, rest assured that there’s a good reason for my justifiable outrage. No, I’m not taking issue with Andy for working on a south-of-the-border horror movie that fails to warn audiences about the Chupacabra invasion (why else would the National Guard be at the border?) No, I’m not choked that I didn’t manage to get through every item on my “Things to do while my roommate is gone” checklist (Although #117 – Photoshop myself into all his family photos – should be done by the time I pick him up at the airport.) And no, it’s not because Andy’s a bad roommate.

It’s because we’re both bad roommates.

I didn’t even realize it until this morning, when fate delivered me the above cover scan for “Roommate” – a Japanese-exclusive PS2 game that allows gamers to walk a virtual schoolgirl through such typical roommate activities as getting in the pool in a skimpy bathing suit, soaping up and getting married. If “Roommate” is the gold standard for harmonized apartment living, Andy and I fall far short. Not only have we never done any of those things together…we’ve never even wanted to.

I’m not sure how this revelation will affect the roommate paradigm over at the BAR, but at least I have 24 hours to figure it out. In the meantime, feel free to post any vacancies in apartments with girls like the one in the game. If it comes to it…I just might be willing to move.

(And Andy, all kidding aside, you’re a great roommate – looking forward to having you back)